Overthrow?

Gossip Girl Season 4

Excuse me. I know it’s been a while, I’ve had what I actually don’t mind calling ‘writer’s block’, the external kind. The kind that’s most annoying, like “Why am I sitting in this room with this girl, she’s like quite literally staring at my back (and sometimes at my front) and it’s truly annoying being stalked by the present past who is, like, staring at my back (did I say that?okay).” Once I beat that with the classic (figurative),”You can’t sit with us!”, it was cool. So hey, the snob is back.

Also, I was writing about something-you’ll see later- when it mysteriously didn’t get published. That pissed me the fuck off, I had posting trauma for like, two days! Scary stuff, putting in so much effort just for shit to get deleted. Anyway I’m sick of writing about how the internet has been BETRAYING me (http://cigaretteincense.blogspot.com) so I’ll stop.

Ooh yesterday, my friend (who’s in he city for a month) and I texted about fashion and clothing and shoes and accessories and other girl stuff almost the whole fucking day! If you read my post about Spring you must know that this friend is actually a PERSON and not a season. Moving right along, I forgot that I could do that! Seriously, it’s fun. it’s like smoking an exclusive girl power/fashion joint! It’s a little evil army of terror candy-coated in prettiness, giggles and ‘oh my gosh, you won’t believe!’. Speaking of things that you oh my gosh won’t believe . . . Of course you won’t, because that kind of conversation is exclusive,duh! What you should know are that those things make us fucking crazy! The official, diagnosed kind, not that anyone ever notices. OCD and paranoia do just fine in society, hence the show Gossip Girl, oh and our lovely friends HELP us become crazy by letting us know we aren’t crazy,”Oh my gosh, I totally understand!”. It’s ironic, but it works. It’s something that makes us high maintenance, fast talking, fast thinking, bitch slapping Queen B’s instead of the doormat, do everything that you say,’does my ass look fat in this?’,walk all over me, annoying girls that guys with low self esteem like. See? Good. My best friend’s head is full of secrets and it’s inflating, she gets to minimize when she tells me though. See what I mean?

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Knock-knock, It’s Spring!

Shit!

No really, it’s a mix between “SHIT” and “YAY” for a girl, well for a girl like me. Honestly, I don’t have to be like,’SHHIIIT!’ but it’s fun.

It’s been a cold ass Winter, it freaking snowed in Johannesburg when we thought Winter was over. Winter was like, “Those shorts? Oh no you don’t”. Anyway, Winter doesn’t exactly have the best social etiquette, she’s the bitch that never wants to go out and wants you to wear your coat indoors. In fact, she wants you to wear your stockings under your high-waisted pants making it ever so hard to pee. And for a girl like me who must’ve descended from a strange breed of lizard-humans, having cold hands that need to be in pockets or gloves or something ALL THE FUCKING TIME. It’s that time that you cringe when you have to put ice in your drink but you know you can’t stand to have a luke warm (double,hehe) vodka and cranberry juice. She leaves us poor smokers outside (street side) of a restaurant, putting our hands over the candle on the table, shivering in a spot where it takes forever for the waitron to get to you because they’re all inside where it’s warm. Oh yeah and then there’s that long walk inside to the bathroom when I already have to tug on the million layers of my attire just to piss. Did I mention the long walk . . . With heels and buckling knees? Maybe that’s why Anna Wintour’s  last name rhymes with ‘WINTER’, because she’s a stocking-wearing-fur coat-wearing-acquired-social snob with a half-smile.

Then there’s the hobo-looking-hoodie-wearing-bunch of man-children and well, the occasional gorgeous coats. Gorgeous coats and cuddling with my lovely BF (can I show off here? No? Damn) are officially the best things about Winter.

Moving on >Spring is here . . . Oh wait hold on.

SPRING IS HERE! SPRING IS HERE! SPRING IS HERE! SPRING IS HERE! SPRING IS HERE!

I just feel like there’s way too much to say on my sort of ‘crushing on the new season in class’ that I actually have to send it a note to meet me at break time for an ice-cream chat. It’s like that new girl who you want to be friends with, she has great style and is so bubbly it’s ridiculous, and even though you might not have much in common, you know she’ll just brighten up your day. If you have no idea what I’m saying . . . I’m dedicating a whole other post to SPRING.

YAY SPRING, WELCOME TO MY CLIQUE, BETCH!

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