We Started a Sorority!!

I know right? Totally weird!

We don’t have sororities in this country, the best we can do is ‘Committee’. Anyway, it started like this: My dear friend, San invited me as her Plus 1 to a dinner party and knowing me, I got all dressed up and nervous/excited (meeting new people-cringe). For the first time in our fucking lives, San and I got there early (as in too early) faced with just two other girls, asking establishing questions that turned out to be quite awkward. Each of us having our turn to demolish the awkward silences, but that kinda died out quickly as we got to talking about Lady Gaga’s cancelled tour and gushing about iced tea! 

Okay this is the weird part, for me at least. No bottles of champagne . . . There were jelly babies marinating in what looked like a single shot of Chocolate Vodka. Eventually, and I have no idea how, but we started playing ping pong/table tennis (I stayed away because my hand to eye co-ordination has been dormant since high school ended).I decided to take videos of this (no you can’t see.) The girls kept rolling in something like every hour in groups of three or four, so that pin pong became 10 people revolving around a table like sushi. I’ve actually never seen so many (sober) people running and laughing AND playing ping pong at a time in my life! It was . . . pure mind-fuckery. After everyone mutually decide not to stink up the place with body odour (it was freaking hot as well), the weather cooled down and 30 seconds was in order. San and I would’ve won this one except that by the time we all got outside, the girls started speaking about how many bushes we were surrounded by and then something like 15 people having conversations started about how we should play ‘block whatever’ or as I know it- Hide and Seek. Did I mention that bats started flying around? No really, actual fruit eating BATS! It only took one person to say “Oh my Gosh!BATS!” and we were back to being distracted for a whole fifteen minutes. staring and ducking in awe of these tiny scary creatures! AHHH!

Hide and seek is hard work man! I haven’t ran so fast in ages! Damn, I suck at being a kid! So much. And I was the first person out in that hand-game “There’s a party ’round the corner, would you please please come, bring your own cup and saucer and your own jelly tots” . . . But that was foul play! FOUL PLAY girls! I’ll get you back, mwahahaha *tilts-head-back*. Eventually I decided I had to smoke! Seriously, I was gritting my teeth for like, three hours! That’s when I got to speak to Lauren, who is also a smoker (thank GOD!) and a really cool,chilled out girl. After warming up by all becoming twelve-year-old girls, everyone got to talking around a dinner table (And also after my worried self smoking six ciagrettes in a row). More girls came by that time as well. I got to a table already bubbling with conversation and the dessert to food ratio was 5/2, classic! I didn’t mention before, but 90% of these girls were in Med school! Yes, they’re studying MEDICINE! So, Alcohol-zero, until it got passed around in the form of Amarula with custard and ice-cream.I kept saying, “Oh my gosh, you need a mic to speak at this table!” Words said to me by another person ruined my appetite so I just had jelly and I didn’t bother with the custard and ice- cream mix, just the cute two shots of Amarula.

Either way, the conversations were lovely, this is the part where I test my memory with names . . . Lauren! Love her, so understated but so real and she was the only other twenty one- year-old other than San and I; Ashley with the pretty hazel eyes; Amy, such a cool athletic girl who also has a blog; Natalia never talks shit when her mouth opens; Vee, a really interesting girl, could speak to her for hours; Musa and Sasa are TWINS, they were so bubbly, just balls of energy; Jemma, the sassy white girl, haha and you’d never think that just by looking at her; Winnie, cutest laugh ever and she wore this pretty floral dress; Joyner is tall as fuck and also laughy. I don’t know how to spell some of these names 😦 but anyway, Charzia, she know how much I loved her fringed dress; Ray was really quiet, really quiet; Larissa with a husky voice who kept doing these funny accents, haha; Chaiste, it’s pronounced ‘Shay-ste’ (it’s probably not even spelt like that) it’s got to be the most amazing name I’ve heard this year and she wore this flared floral top and pink lip gloss that just STAYED; Madihah, Maddy for short, there is really a Buddha in that girl,she’s so calm; Sam, the only Asian, she came really late, didn’t get to talk to her but she seems cool. I hope I’m not leaving anyone out, but that’s the whole sorority! Was fun being twelve again. I’m pretty sure we’ve made a sorority, there’s no breaking ‘the sisterhood’. It was also for my friend, San to get to know the girls she has classes with, so cute! We should do it again, next time Doll’s way.


The Snob

Knock-knock, It’s Spring!


No really, it’s a mix between “SHIT” and “YAY” for a girl, well for a girl like me. Honestly, I don’t have to be like,’SHHIIIT!’ but it’s fun.

It’s been a cold ass Winter, it freaking snowed in Johannesburg when we thought Winter was over. Winter was like, “Those shorts? Oh no you don’t”. Anyway, Winter doesn’t exactly have the best social etiquette, she’s the bitch that never wants to go out and wants you to wear your coat indoors. In fact, she wants you to wear your stockings under your high-waisted pants making it ever so hard to pee. And for a girl like me who must’ve descended from a strange breed of lizard-humans, having cold hands that need to be in pockets or gloves or something ALL THE FUCKING TIME. It’s that time that you cringe when you have to put ice in your drink but you know you can’t stand to have a luke warm (double,hehe) vodka and cranberry juice. She leaves us poor smokers outside (street side) of a restaurant, putting our hands over the candle on the table, shivering in a spot where it takes forever for the waitron to get to you because they’re all inside where it’s warm. Oh yeah and then there’s that long walk inside to the bathroom when I already have to tug on the million layers of my attire just to piss. Did I mention the long walk . . . With heels and buckling knees? Maybe that’s why Anna Wintour’s  last name rhymes with ‘WINTER’, because she’s a stocking-wearing-fur coat-wearing-acquired-social snob with a half-smile.

Then there’s the hobo-looking-hoodie-wearing-bunch of man-children and well, the occasional gorgeous coats. Gorgeous coats and cuddling with my lovely BF (can I show off here? No? Damn) are officially the best things about Winter.

Moving on >Spring is here . . . Oh wait hold on.


I just feel like there’s way too much to say on my sort of ‘crushing on the new season in class’ that I actually have to send it a note to meet me at break time for an ice-cream chat. It’s like that new girl who you want to be friends with, she has great style and is so bubbly it’s ridiculous, and even though you might not have much in common, you know she’ll just brighten up your day. If you have no idea what I’m saying . . . I’m dedicating a whole other post to SPRING.


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