The Snob and The Social Reflex: Part Un

Am I frowning? But, boy, is it bright . . . Oh right, I have shades on. Am I still frowning?Urgh, it’s the public.


Please feel free to mention how absolutely dressed down I am, blending in so as to not have to garner any unsolicited attention from locals.Yeah right. We know the only blending in I’m good at is the blending in that involves the bronzer on my cheekbones and the blush on my cheeks. Now THAT’S what I call a natural transition. Do you think maybe I should’ve highlighted just above the cheekbone? Or a darker contour in the . . . Well, contour above my jawline. Hold on, I’m veering off.

Does it help that my schedule won’t allow for me to manage these cuticles, and so yes, they’ve got my attention in this place, surrounded by people who could also probably use a manicure. What an utterly boring distraction. When am I getting a grooming buddy?

So last November, I got myself (after much consideration and motivation from two of the closest non-women in my life, never again) a pair of sneakers!!!! *Gasp* Yes, sneakers. Why am I gasping? Why aren’t you? Well, you see I haven’t owned a sneaker since 5 years ago when it made sense to be so colloquially dressed, walking about, identifying as young and carefree. Of course, the pairs were well embellished. One, black padded quilting like a Chanel purse, the other with pink accents and a pink sole, and the other, a regular Converse high-top except for the doodles/grafitti that it was decorated with. Yes, they were all bought like that, picked out of a selection of bland running shoes. You see, I don’t think sneakers are shoes, I think of them as more of a necessary tool, like prescription medication (shoes for like, running and stuff?). So planning my outfits around these sneakers gave me a bit of a headache. Not to mention I had to learn how to walk in them, how ironic. Bite me.

So this is world’s apart from the postural exercise I’m used to. The ‘tuck in your butt, point your toes, drop your shoulders, hold in your core, hold your gaze in a thin, long imaginary line shooting straight forward’.

fancy outfit and sneakers

Nope. It’s basically ‘walk’. I found myself lifting my heel for no reason, arch-less, ball-less, stepping of the one foot followed by the other. Like . . . A boy.

Hey hey! The plus side. I can walk REALY fast, heck I can run! Do you know how exciting that is? Other than the fact that I might NEED to run (from something/someone, most likely for something, like a bus, out of the way of an asshole driver (read: right of way) or because I’m in a hurry or all of a sudden I realise that if I run now, I won’t have do those lunges later!). Reality is such a pain in the bunion.


Sigh, anyway. Or whatever. Sneakers.

They make feel a little less poised than I want to (maybe ought to) feel, a little less feminine, a little less entitled, a little . . . Low maintenance. Like a sliding door as opposed to a vault. Like an A4 page with a feint and margin as opposed to a taupe woodgrain wallpaper sprawling across 5metres . . . Like I can’t be excused for not knowing the meaning of the new slang word doing the rounds. Like ice, melting in a glass of room temperature water . . . And my feet still hurt.


They also make me feel like I should know the lyrics to A$AP Rocky/Drake/Kanye songs or perhaps just the names of pop artists and their shenanigans to begin with (Getting there), they make me feel like I can actually dance in a place other than in front of the mirror in my room. They make me feel like I’m drinking, like a lot more water than I am, they make me feel like college kid identifying as young and I guess I sort of am. It’s as if I’m not wearing shoes . . . I won’t repeat that prescription part, you know what I mean.

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I will never complain about the glamorous discomfort that heels provide, about the sway aiding the one already created by my waist-to-hip ratio, about the stuttering footsteps, the walking carefully down a flight of stairs, the hand I might need getting across badly maintained pavements, the sloth pace, not even the ankle I might break by walking carelessly. I mean, I said “never” right? Like, what do you want from me?

Shout out to all the snobs who drab away in flat colloquial shoes for necessity only to get home and slip on your favourite pair of heels to maintain that sought after arch in your foot and just revel in wearing something that was made for poise, statement and flair. Until your whole schedule of excuses to wear heels fills up, soak it all in.

And the next time you go out for a jol and your insensitive friend (we all have one) tries to hurry you, followed by, “Why are you wearing heels?” you have my go ahead to answer in a mini tantrum “Because I FUCKING WANT TO!”. Just do it.

P.S. Pictures of other people because I mean, I’m not ready to be photographed with sneakers on, like . . . Also, they are killing it. Go girls.

Over and (running) out.

The Snob.

Kiss and Spell

Kiss and Spell

MANGO cotton tank top
100 ZAR –

Monki college jacket
835 ZAR –

David Koma black miniskirt
13 495 ZAR –

Casadei evening sandals
10 350 ZAR –

Silver glasses
135 ZAR –

Topshop balm makeup
185 ZAR –

Oliver Gal Artist Co canvas home decor
2 135 ZAR –

Oliver Gal Artist Co canvas home decor
2 135 ZAR –

Giclee painting
1 870 ZAR –

Black home decor
1 635 ZAR –

Americanflat quote wall art
920 ZAR –

The Artwork Factory industrial wall art
1 175 ZAR –

Wild at H’Art – Let’s Drift

Wild at H'Art - Let's Drift

Uniqlo button cardigan
190 ZAR –

Monki crop tee
83 ZAR –

Tara Jarmon circle skirt
1 335 ZAR –

Rachel Zoe high heel booties
3 460 ZAR –

Radley bag
3 280 ZAR –

Chicnova Fashion metal glasses
54 ZAR –

Lips makeup

Perfume fragrance

Beauty accessory
435 ZAR –

Myne car wall art
465 ZAR –

Pink beach towel
250 ZAR –

Wall art
185 ZAR –

Framed wall art

Tan, Repeat.

Tan, Repeat.

This is a Love Song crop top
1 185 ZAR –

860 ZAR –

Rag & bone/JEAN short shorts
1 910 ZAR –

Gianvito Rossi leather shoes
9 475 ZAR –

Acne Studios shoes
5 360 ZAR –

Black handbag
240 ZAR –

Givenchy cuff bracelet
9 225 ZAR –

Stainless steel jewelry
2 430 ZAR –

The Row round sunglasses
5 545 ZAR –

Hanging out With Marni

Hanging out With Marni

Marni long top
9 160 ZAR –

Gestuz coat
4 165 ZAR –

Destroyed high waisted shorts
340 ZAR –

IRO leather ankle booties
6 340 ZAR –

Louis Vuitton colorful jewelry
2 505 ZAR –

Dolce&Gabbana acetate glasses
2 345 ZAR –

Revlon lip treatment
17 ZAR –

Mirror Mirror

Mirror Mirror

Fendi crop top
4 095 ZAR –

Acne Studios black jacket
7 290 ZAR –

T By Alexander Wang grey bra
1 000 ZAR –

Iris & Ink wool pants
3 385 ZAR –

Miu Miu black flat
5 575 ZAR –

Topshop drawstring bag
740 ZAR –

Sony silicone watch
1 535 ZAR –

A V Max leather bracelet
795 ZAR –

Amber Sceats stainless steel jewelry
400 ZAR –

Designhype stainless steel jewelry
420 ZAR –

H M cuff bracelet
69 ZAR –

Fendi sunglasses
4 945 ZAR –

Dive With You :)

Dive With You :)

Invicta black stainless steel jewelry
3 445 ZAR –

Chronograph watch
3 415 ZAR –

Salvatore Ferragamo Men’s Nikel Lace-Up Oxford
8 335 ZAR –

Alexander McQueen Currency Skull Cufflinks
6 310 ZAR –

Home wall decor
1 300 ZAR –

Vintage home decor
1 495 ZAR –

Music home decor
1 270 ZAR –

On The Move

On The Move

Shirts top
£28 –

Tsumori Chisato blue varsity jacket
£510 –

Lonely cross back bra
£50 –

Abercrombie & fitch shorts
£20 –

Truffle high heel booties
£23 –

Elena Ghisellini red leather handbag
£800 –

Nixon chronograph watch
£67 –

Candy Coated Sweetheart

Candy Coated Sweetheart

Alice McCall top
€135 –

Helmut Lang twill jacket
€240 –

Mary Katrantzou patterned shorts
€1.110 –

Alexander McQueen suede platform shoes
€1.045 –

Furla mini crossbody handbag
€130 –

Clear jewelry
€8,93 –

Chain pendant
€8,91 –

The Row black heart shaped sunglasses
€415 –

Beanie hat
€18 –

Anya Hindmarch fabric chalk
€240 –

One Of The Boys

One Of The Boys

Diamond Supply Co logo tee
400 ZAR –

Isabel marant blazer
10 275 ZAR –

The Row pull on pants
86 420 ZAR –

Michael Kors brown leather boots
1 090 ZAR –

The Cambridge Satchel Company leather backpack
2 580 ZAR –

MARC BY MARC JACOBS bracelet watch
2 560 ZAR –

Ippolita yellow gold ring
25 175 ZAR –

Betsey Johnson stud earrings
285 ZAR –

West Elm wall art
1 180 ZAR –