Gossip Girl Season 4

Excuse me. I know it’s been a while, I’ve had what I actually don’t mind calling ‘writer’s block’, the external kind. The kind that’s most annoying, like “Why am I sitting in this room with this girl, she’s like quite literally staring at my back (and sometimes at my front) and it’s truly annoying being stalked by the present past who is, like, staring at my back (did I say that?okay).” Once I beat that with the classic (figurative),”You can’t sit with us!”, it was cool. So hey, the snob is back.

Also, I was writing about something-you’ll see later- when it mysteriously didn’t get published. That pissed me the fuck off, I had posting trauma for like, two days! Scary stuff, putting in so much effort just for shit to get deleted. Anyway I’m sick of writing about how the internet has been BETRAYING me (http://cigaretteincense.blogspot.com) so I’ll stop.

Ooh yesterday, my friend (who’s in he city for a month) and I texted about fashion and clothing and shoes and accessories and other girl stuff almost the whole fucking day! If you read my post about Spring you must know that this friend is actually a PERSON and not a season. Moving right along, I forgot that I could do that! Seriously, it’s fun. it’s like smoking an exclusive girl power/fashion joint! It’s a little evil army of terror candy-coated in prettiness, giggles and ‘oh my gosh, you won’t believe!’. Speaking of things that you oh my gosh won’t believe . . . Of course you won’t, because that kind of conversation is exclusive,duh! What you should know are that those things make us fucking crazy! The official, diagnosed kind, not that anyone ever notices. OCD and paranoia do just fine in society, hence the show Gossip Girl, oh and our lovely friends HELP us become crazy by letting us know we aren’t crazy,”Oh my gosh, I totally understand!”. It’s ironic, but it works. It’s something that makes us high maintenance, fast talking, fast thinking, bitch slapping Queen B’s instead of the doormat, do everything that you say,’does my ass look fat in this?’,walk all over me, annoying girls that guys with low self esteem like. See? Good. My best friend’s head is full of secrets and it’s inflating, she gets to minimize when she tells me though. See what I mean?

Boys and their Toys?


Uhm okay, this is new?

I think I’m being excluded. Maybe I’m isolating myself from the many topics that come from a ‘man party’.

I’m not sure.

So today,actually while I type (as I decided to invade this male bubble) my lovelier than ever boyfriend (actually fiance) has a friend over.

Uh I must explain to you how exclusive this party is – it has to do with internet games, canned beer, girlfriend drama ( I’m cringing ), plugs, opening files, saving files, programming, ‘control click’, desktop, more beers, some vodka, hip hop music – I mean The Honorable Wu-Tang Clan, operating systems, backing up, firewalls, updates, connections . . . By the way, all this internet/computer lingo jargon is coming from the lovely above-mentioned man. It’s like when my friends invite me out shopping to style them or when my gay friends invite me to their parties because they want to know stylish hot girls and not just gay hot guys (who are also funny).

Anyway, I’m not sure, but I think they might be talking more right now. Earlier I couldn’t really hear them and I wasn’t even watching reruns of ‘Sex and the City’ or ‘Gossip Girl’ (which blocks out most of the suburban sounds for my fashion girl heaven ).

I find this weird because I’ve been the ‘guy-girl’ or as they say ‘one of the boys’ as well as one of the girly girls ( I don’t know how I managed ). I know that with girls, we have a very specific exclusivity social attitude about these kinda gatherings. If you’re not the right girl, you don’t fit in, if you’re a guy, surely you don’t fit in, unless you’re a GORGEOUS, FABULOUS, STYLISH, OPINIONATED GAY GUY! In my case, I was the sporty, opinionated, straight girl who was immune to dirty jokes and innuendoes and spoke frankly about everything and didn’t mind if their immature sexual comments were directed at me because I’d have a killer,totally belittling/embarrassing comeback for them. I do this ‘frank thing’ with my girl group but they probably think I’m a necessary bitch, which is what guys and girls have in common – The necessary bitch.

So here’s where it sucks – like how the fuck am I supposed to be that (necessary bitch) when I’m dealing with Macs and techno shit and poker, I guess?

Funny thing is I can’t complain because I get to watch my lovely above-mentioned man in all his social manliness. It’s fucking hot! It’s hot how he’s bobbing his head to The Honorable Wu-Tang Clan, asking serious questions every now and then, talking about cars and their sync (and it’s sorta comedy as well), and then I think about my friends and how they are so free and honest around me (they better be or I’ll call them out), how they deal with all my shit and how they are so willing to listen because they trust me and react maturely to what I tell them because they know it’s from someone who cares about them.

Our conversation just moved to our appreciation (not mine) of BEER, and then whiskey etc. Somehow, bricks and building worked its way into this modern man (and woMAN) conversation and so did alarms and neighbours. I’m waiting for fashion and haters ( apparent girl shit that guys talk about? ).

Other than the fact that I don’t have a penis, I actually like this company. My own friends don’t talk about the Kardashians. I sometimes find us having quite manly conversations, most of it though is some highly intelligent back-and forth about everyday experiences (lol,philosophies and shit) but we do talk about fashion ( I neeeeeeeed someone who I can talk about the Kardashians with!!!!!)

Anyway, their meeting is over and they’re like  ‘See you soon dude’ the same way I am with my girls, so hey IT’S ALL RELATIVE’. Ta-Da.


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