5 Minutes With The Snob

Why are you so distracted?


Imaan Hamman getting even prettier. Photo: http://www.hannahlouisef.com/

Woah, woah woah! Start from the top. Don’t just come here and start talking prose from your ass. Take a deep a breath, I mean like wtf?

I’m a feminist now. So can I say ‘girls’ or ‘chicks’ referring to women? What about bitches and hoes, what’s the verdict on those? And sluts? Or should I say actively sexual exploiters, personally or otherwise . . . In the exploiting and not the dressing. Come on, wake up.

Go home Bob, you’re rich.

You know what I was thinking? . . . Nothing.

Do you think I need more hairspray?


Sui He “Is this smudging? Should I stop talking after this?”

If I’m not in the front, then why am I here?

Nice pot plant. Do you have an indoor gardener for your indoor plants or do you just spritz them from your water bottle?

You’re on ‘Brow-Duty’, I don’t want to feel betrayed when I look in the mirror later.

Do you have everything?

I don’t, for the life of me, understand why there isn’t any music playing.

Stockings, hmmm.

How’re my brows?



Love ya, bye.

xoxo. The Snob.

Stupid Intelligent People

My thoughts, two days ago:

“Plane crashes in the French Alps. Why would anyone fly over such a high mountain range? Is that a thing? It shouldn’t be. Surely they take detours through lower places. Who the fuck is going TO the French Alps by plane? Isn’t that what trains are for? Like in that movie in which Brad Pitt’s character and his friend (or not) get arrested for being suspected as Nazi’s? I don’t know, really. Brad was the blondest of blonde and had that awkward as fuck German accent . . . Hmm . . . Anyway, they were travelling by train to reach the peaks, I guess they were planning on hiking the rest of the way. Whatever. Maybe today’s pilots should be flying higher with stronger, faster aircrafts. Our technology might have just reached a lag, or is it just not making it into popular culture? We need raised landing stations with smaller airports, for smaller aircrafts like helicopters to drop off at a lower point (as in ground level). It would be so over-the-top cool, literally. Surely it’d have to be accommodating, like a whole different city in the sky with different levels of gravity . . . Urhmm”

So all that lovely thought just ended up being drowned out by yesterday’s update. The pilot was suicidal (successfully) and basically took everyone down with him. Co-pilot, might I add. Andreas Lubitz, took the wheel and took a shot at population control too. Sigh. Seriously? Can we all see his recent psyche evaluations, please? Here’s a good idea, let an unstable, selfish individual fly people to basically anywhere, but let’s add the French Alps in that route, in a plane in which the main pilot can be locked out of the cockpit. Insanity. Who’s taking the fall for this one? (The pun there that you think you’re registering is invalid because this plane didn’t fall, that would’ve been an accident, so just stop.)

Fine, people get sick of their lives and end up killing themselves. Some people take a significant amount of sleeping pills, shoot up whatever drug they trust to do the job, buy a gun and turn it on themselves, jump from buildings and cliffs, jump in front of speeding trains, gas themselves in cars, hang themselves, stab themselves, poison themselves with something fancy, slit their wrists . . . In Seven Pounds, Will Smith’s character, Tim, fills a bath with ice water, gets in and adds a jellyfish to the equation. That was brutal, beautiful, depressing, intelligent and creative. No, not Andreas Lubitz. He had to kill himself (and all the passengers) ON THE JOB. Like, just how busy was his work schedule? None of the above options occurred to him? Why doesn’t he fit the description of a terrorist? What he did was very similar to what suicide bombers do. Am I missing something? Aren’t we all?

So it turns out, they do fly over intense mountains, how romantic. These things fly high! . . . He took a PLUNGE! I guess I can’t hate a dead guy, but my heart goes out to those who lost their loved ones. I’d be devastated and furious!


It’s time for Germanwings to explain their sloppy staff member, they have a lot of answering to do. I wouldn’t want to be CEO right now. ‘Current Affairs’ are so fucked up. Grab your popcorn and your tissues, snobs. There’s probably more.


The Snob.

P.S. Do try and enjoy your weekend, stay away from mountains for now, I think.