GIRLS – The show that is . . . (Part 1)

This post a little overdue.

Since I had a Marlboro smoking-vodka ‘tossing’ psychotic and very pleasing marathon of Sex and the City, which if you’re older than 30 or in that age group (not much younger), you’d call ‘reruns’. Thing is Sex and the City is an old show, a sort of pioneer for all the chick-related smack that’s on Television now, and when most of that shit played I was busy thinking boys were the equivalent of frogs (gross), doing jungle gym tournaments and moulding play-dough. Basically I was a fucking kid, I was probably still discovering make up when Season 4 aired. All of that mentioned though, I watched Sex and the City to kinda kill time while waiting for the first episode of the last season of Gossip Girl. ( I know that was a twisted line, but it’s the fucking full eclipse of the experience and scripts of the above-mentioned shows.) Urgh gosh, and weirdly enough, I’m starting to find my obsession with Gossip Girl a little annoying, I don’t know if it’s because the edge is wearing off or it’s just a pain in the rectum to watch it weekly!

Anyway . . .

This post is NOT about Sex and the City ( or Gossip Girl,damn!) though, that one is still coming. This is about ‘Girls’.

Seriously, like ‘what the fuck?’. The show is based in New York, Brooklyn to be exact and weirdly enough I couldn’t help slipping into London while the brown-boot-wearing main character walked around this dull seeming fucking place. Honestly, there are a lot of shows based in New York but in Girl’s it’s almost like  . . . Like it could be anywhere actually. Mass appeal much? You don’t really get that buzzing busy city vibe from GIRLS in NEW YORK CITY,hullo! Okay, it’s probably because it’s like NYU arty farty sorts and not the Ivy League bitches that I’m used to. Either way, I think the point in that is to focus on the not so simple lives of the characters . . . Hmmm, no actually, why’d they have to make New York SO SO dull?

With all that said, I still watched the WHOLE first season because for one, it’s a different take on New York women/girls. They seem normal, I have no idea what being normal is like, no really. To me, the mental state of a normal person matches that of Serena and Blair, perfectly fucking normal. I got a punch to the stomach when the main character introduced wasn’t the usual brand of ‘actress skinny and gorgeous’ (there’s a huge difference between actress skinny and model skinny, no one wants to see model skinny move around and wait ’til her skin falls down to her feet when she raises her arms), it’s a great thing though to change what people are used to seeing. Also the show doesn’t stray from the bullshit. Like in that first scene, Hannah’s parents want to cut her off financially, that news to a graduate who doesn’t have a job yet stings, but her mom says, “No you have an internship that you SAY is going to turn into a job”. Right, because that just happens to every single fucking intern on the planet. I think her mom was like ‘Ahaha I know that fake job trick, you’re working your ass off aren’t ya?’, but she’s right, like what are you doing working an internship two years AFTER you graduate? Then again her mom isn’t exactly rational, she thinks rent, insurance and cell phone bills add up to a “groovy lifestyle”.

Hannah’s fuck buddy . . . He is a weirdo, the strange voice, the very jerky things that come out of his mouth contrasted with him being all meaningful and understanding and shit. I don’t know of anyone who tries to continue having a conversation while making out or doing foreplay AND while having sex like Hannah does. You’d think this jerky guy would be like,”Shut up!”. Yeah it’s cute, funny and necessary when Charlotte from Sex and The City does it because she gets straight to the point, it’s like ‘Ah Charlotte, you manipulating prep’. What I like about how those scenes are directed is that they have that natural interrupting each other/trying to finish a sentence  in PERFECT IMPERFECT timing.

And then her FUN friend, comes from Paris with an English accent and seems to be on some serious downers. She’s around to cause some trouble and to live with her coke-seemingly-high cousin who speaks like how a chipmunk or meerkat or any quick moving creature would speak. You might even miss her saying “Your skin is humpingly beautiful” as if you’d ever miss that comment. Then that party they threw for downer Brit which Hannah was late for because she was “having gross sex with that animal”. Miss Downer only rocks up 2 hours later and everyone’s having some conversation about working at McDonald’s. That dude with the bug-eyed girlfriend and thinks McDonald’s is a great place to work also makes opium tea that tastes like twigs, like really? Twigs, can’t you make it taste better than twigs? And then Hannah thinks ‘oh my gosh,perfect time to go visit my folks’ and rocks up in their hotel room high as fuck after explaining to them eariler “I could be a drug addict, do you realise how lucky you are?”.  In her flustered state, she asks her folks to read her draft novel and then falls to the ground like an Amazon tree while her parents argue above her. Meanwhile Miss Downer is mockingly squeaking ‘my best friend’ at Hannah’s ‘best friend’. You’ve got to love how Miss Downer does a spoilt brat American accent, it’s brilliant! Oh and then she just breaks the news that she’s preggers, did I mention that this whole conversation took place in the bathroom with Miss Downer sitting on the toilet seat for a very very long time? Like, was she taking a crap? Who has a conversation with someone while shitting? Okay then . . .

First episode ends with Hannah waking up in her parent’s hotel room not being able to order from room service. After her fantastic druggie performance the night before, her parents probably realised that they are not that lucky and she is in fact living a ‘groovy lifestyle’. So she gets up, steals the tip and walks the streets of the apparent New York City. I just figured that I need to do posts about Girls in segments. It’s really the weirdest social dynamic I’ve seen, it’s uncomfortable and funny when it’s probably not meant to be. It’s Sex and the City for the nerdy and chubby and it’s completely hit the spot. If you haven’t already devoured Season 1 then you’re totally missing out. I suggest you check out the show before you’re only one who doesn’t know how to throw an ‘abortion’ party.

xx. The Snob

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