Back to . . . Some kind of reality, I guess. As in the weird party scene.
You see after over-dressing to literally every place you go to, and then finally having a party where everyone else made an effort, there are the masses that unfortunately a snob has to face. Places which I won’t mention by the way. Every time I go there I get the “She doesn’t even go here” look , and I know better than to open my mouth very often unless spoken to because my lack of brain-to-mouth-filter will ask “Are you the before?”. Yes it’s sad, people wear their trainers out, as in like, running shoes. You know it’s cool if you’re going to
run home, run home! walk home but people do that in New York wearing Christian Louboutins or at least dressy Dorothy Perkins pumps. And not only are there the bouncers NOT asking a few delinquents “Isn’t it past your curfew?” but there are mothers and fathers of college students who might just bump into their kids making out and fondling outside the bathroom, after they themselves have also just been making out and fondling on the dance floor with someone’s lecturer (and decided to take it to the bathroom). Oh the awkwardness joy!
Oh my gosh! Is that an alcohol bracelet on your ankle? I wonder what your parole officer would have to say about your being here, stumbling over the table to get yet ANOTHER drink (. . . And a shot), tripping on your shoe-lace, spilling your drink on someone’s ugly outfit and going back to the bar to get another drink ( . . . And ANOTHER shot). Whew! You should probably call Lindsay Lohan to tell her you’re ‘totally rebelling’ and so excited to throw up on the girl you’re taking home tonight! Great. Even though I was so keen to keep my mouth shut, I can’t help but want to tell you that TMZ.com is not a lifestyle channel, really, it isn’t. No really REALLY! IT ISN’T!
There just HAPPENS to be art galleries down the road from some of these places, which obviously brings the surprisingly under-dressed art crowd. I don’t get it, some individuals in this crowd are known in Europe and might become amazingly successful globally pretty damn soon and yet they have the tendency to ALWAYS fit in with the hoboes. Come on, it must be embarrassing for someone to say “Sorry I don’t have change” when you’re near them. That must make it weird if you ever ask for change, for like, a cigarette vending machine or something.
Seeing a girl or guy who is also over-dressed and confused without their significant other is also a sad story. Like, unless you work for some charity organization and tonight your duty is to offer or allow for a charity shag then sorry to tell you, but the best you can do is to video-tape people who can’t dance and make a hit youtube video out of it. Otherwise, you can find your NBF (New Best Friend) in a gay guy because half the chicks here are wearing stripes AND polka-dot and/or orange or their friend’s clothes or some really shit ill-fitting vintage (from the 80’s). Deeper in the suburbs you can literally shout “Ashley! Bradley! Morgan! Jade! Blake! Jesse! Taylor! or Kyle!” and any guy or girl will look straight at you and reply “Hey?”. These apparently unisex or common names . . . Actually don’t surprise me.
Township music is fucking over! I can’t stress this more! Stop trying to make
fetch township music happen! And the 80’s left us about 32 ago, and that commercial house is disgusting and the cheesy songs from television ads only remind us of toothpaste or the specials at the garage and why does every big party have to be a drum & bass or dubstep gathering with junkies and jail bait spilling drinks on each other and hiding their crack bong or needle set in their hoodies? WHY?
I’m not exactly complaining, this ‘scene’ gives me lots to write about, it’s a cultural thing right? I totally (almost) understand why you pregamed on the side of the road, waiting for your ‘First 100 in’ free shots and shit, and I guess you might need your chemical fix due to your lack of personality outside of the ‘group’. Get rowdy! Party! Just know, if I get overly fascinated, I’ll be there taking pictures, documenting your hoodie-trainer-neon-coloured-80’s vintage-shit talking-screaming-drug induced personalities (maybe even a video). There are cool people amongst you, just please don’t spill your drink on my white chiffon!
- Why I Am Straight Edge (demonxlung.wordpress.com)
- Help save the youth of America; help save the youth of the world (lucysfootball.com)
- they were meant to fly (wanggo.wordpress.com)