Came, Saw, Conquered!!

Ooh, nothing like killing about 4 birds with one stone!

Confused? I’ll enlighten you. It was a weekend night (that starts with an S, the other one, the one on which Christians like to hang out together), we went out to a place that you can call ‘the usual spot’, the bartenders know what you want so you don’t have holler at them like the rest of the crowd.  That’s besides the point, my night turned into an episode of Sex and The City meets Gossip Girl (seriously). Don’t want to go into too much detail but I was greeted by a person who is already hard to like with a dirty look ‘smile’, of course in all my politeness and not giving the person the satisfaction of making me uncomfortable, I smiled back. I’m still not sure if it was a real smile but it did the trick. Fast-forward less than a minute later, walking strutting with drinks in hand to see the live jazz band,  meeting friends, having a jam. Bird 1-injured.

Oh by the way, it’s been a fucking long time since we saw a good jazz band, the bassist knew he was good, and he showed it by playing and playing and playing until the other two band members had to randomly join just to stop him get a chance to show off their skills too. A live freestyle performance will always be interrupted by a drunk and lively character in the audience, one of these was a cool girl who looks like your aunt but acts like your crazy best friend, she kept singing some one liner from a popular kwaito song. Funny in the beginning but slowly worked its way into annoying and disrespectful, but I guess it’s all part of the fun. A while later we all sat at a table and talked shit about everything, refreshing talking to people you haven’t seen in a while. Here I also got glances from this non-stranger, which left me thinking ‘when are you going to quit?’. Here I am trying to dodge a conversation about maize, yes MAIZE, apparently that is the latest important thing to talk about, this is obviously new to me since the maize we (my fiance and I) eat is cous cous from Morocco or Italy or something. Anyway how does one dodge a conversation? Sipping your drink, smoking your cigarette and scanning the crowd, which means getting scanned too, oh the joy (sarcasm).

Before I carry on, I must mention Bird 2: Being way hotter than your ‘arch nemesis’, hotter, well dressed, polite, intelligent, the fucking works. Need I say that I immediately removed that label from that person because anyone who knows me, knows that I’ll only accept a person as my arch nemesis if they’re in my league. Am I wrong? No I’m not, think about it, there’s no point in Giselle Bundchen-Brady calling Tyra Banks an arch nemesis, it’s a waste, Giselle is a million times hottter, and is always tops whereas Tyra is a has been, and always wears too much eye shadow! See what I mean? Bird 2 status-smashed into a million little pieces.

Ooh we had a good dance, like in the movies haha. We had a friendly chat with the band’s drummer who turned out to be a familiar face to my fiance, and I had a friendly chat with the girl with the thrift shop racks selling everything I wouldn’t wear until That 70’s Show reunion party. But she’s a cool, chilled out person and she’s developed a lot of poise since the last time I saw her, ‘You go girl!’.

Bird 3 is a nice bird, it’s the bird that can’t fly and makes good chicken wings! Yummy. This is the one person who got on my nerves for not acknowledging important current situations. Fine, you’re kind of annoying but we can actually get along and I’d understand what you were saying more often if it wasn’t for your ghetto accent, but I can appreciate that you’re not completely rude, even though you have your moments. Win! Bird 3 status- killed and eaten. lol. And I guess you can’t stop people from copying your make-up.

Bird 4- Going out with my lovely fiance, meeting friends, dancing and having a ball. Since that was the point, but like a good hunter, you always recognise your other successes especially if you’re using the same weapon! You can have so many asses kicked in one night, politely of course. Cheers to partying like a betch and being a good hunter 😉 . Cheers to my snobs!

 

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